Sgt. Tater and the Griswald Chronicles

It's funny how holidays seem to take on the very livelihood of a Griswald Christmas.
We turned onto the annoyingly bumpy, gravel road, heads bobbing up and down through the tinted windows, like the Bash the Gopher game at flashy arcades. Slow and steady, the shell on wheels made a left into the packed driveway resembling Honesty Eddie's used car lot. The groaning minivan came to a stop, as the Smith's came pouring out of every door. The country wind sucked papers out of the vehicle and across the yard to the cornfield, leaving the agile children to dart frantically for retrieval.

"Grab the sweet potatoes!" ordered mom, the commander of this operation. "I'll get the cranberries. Can you reach the pies? I only have 2 hands!"
She prepares her troop with tough love and frustration.
"I had to make all of this! Can't you atleast help me carry it!?"

After everyone made good use of their hands, the mission was ready to commence.

"Oh, and don't forget to bring in the games!" she added while looking back at us.

We meticulously staggered up the front steps and put on our game faces, or in this case, our "Hi! How are you? So good to see you!" faces.

After much preparation and lots of waiting, anticipating stomachs finally gained gluttunous satisfaction in the form of slow cooked poultry. Mashed spud salvation!

After punishing my intestinal tract through seconds and pie, my weary chewing muscles told me it was time to sleep. Commander in Chief had another mission in mind.

"You're old enough now. Go help her with the dishes! She shouldn't have to do those," she said while elbowing.
M'am, Yes M'am!!

The real battle began when Grandma broke out the Scrabble game. After crazy letter assortments and made up words, Grandma was not messing around. She whipped out the big guns, the special Scrabble dictionary. I knew I was about to get massacred by her in all her senior glory.

It was my turn and my letters were not my salvation. Suddently, I spotted a lonely G, dropped double O's, yelled "Goo!" and seceded to my post on the couch. Grandma meant business and turkey made me sleepy.